Say Hello to Google TV

Logitech dropped the Revue yesterday, the first offering in what is sure to be a bevy of devices designed to bring the Web into your living room.  So with all the wonderful things your phone can do on a 3.5 inch screen in your pocket, why wouldn’t you want the same kind of customized content being fed to you on your big screen while you watch a related show? Well maybe because you’re giving Big Brother G a bunch of information about yourself in the process.  Every time a user fires up Google’s laser-like search functions he makes an implicit choice to pay a toll in the new currency of the Internet: personal information.  Don’t you forget it. But is that necessarily a bad thing? Consider the following video from 2009:

While your privacy-muscle may twitch when listening to CEO Eric Schmidt describe his vision for Smart-TVs, the fact of the matter is that no one’s making you use their services (which are free, and generally work really REALLY well).  And there’s no doubt that Page, Brin, and Schmidt will enhance the TV experience one way or another.

Netflix streaming will be accesible via an Android-based app provided for Google TV—which seems to indicate an Android phone app is likely on its way. It’s up to apps to make themselves open to Google TV’s universal search so results can show up. Negotiations between Google and Hulu are ongoing, meaning we could see Hulu Plus show up sometime soon.

Other apps will be available from a Google TV market—a silo within the Android Marketplace—which reps say should launch sometime next year, or “as fast as possible.” An SDK, based on the existing Android SDK, will be made available, with a Google rep saying devs “will be able to reuse a lot of code.” The same rep said a separate search algorithm—”Google TV Search”—draws from a wide body of content, including live television, guide listings, and, when paired with Dish, video stored on your DVR. The TV search will also pull in what’s on the web.

Gizmodo

So far, my own HTPC (a Windows PC plugged into my TV) has been good, not great.  But Logitech is a company that specializes in controllers and interfaces, so I’m optimistic that this could put a better spin on the experience.  From the viewpoint of a relatively educated consumer, it seems as though the Big G may wind up with more to offer Google TV customers than Apple can through iTunes.  Since 98% of Google’s revenue comes from search, they are not in the business of controlling or distributing content, just serving it to you as quickly and accurately as possible.  They want you to be able to find whatever the hell you want (and generally for free), because, frankly, they want to know what the hell it is you want so they can serve it to you in the form of targeted ads.  Apple on the other hand, wants to control every aspect of its content-distribution ecosystem, and make micro-transactions on each individual episode you “rent” (read: play on demand).  That’s great for Steve, but might end up limiting how much content they’re able to get on board.  Either way, we’re watching the future of Television unfold.  You might want to stay tuned.

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Saturday Night Live Still Sucks, but This Happened

So last week, Katy Perry shot a music video with Elmo for Sesame Street, but the scene was eventually cut due to excessive bewbage.  NBC apparently decided they want to be in the Katy-Perry’s-business bussiness (who could blame them), and lampooned her brief stint on the Street the most clever way they know how.  Genius? Naah, too easy.

The Elmo video’s below if you care to watch it, but the above .gif is both bouncier and silence-ier so, naturally, it gets my vote.

My Last Word on Ines

So I was getting some flack yesterday in the Twitterverse by people who have no sense of hyperbole or humor.  Check out the post, write some shit in the comments.  Go nuts, start a flame war.

http://www.awfulannouncing.com/2010-articles/september/la-ultima-palabra-mia-sobre-ines-sainz.html

High Art from Low Art

Vodpod videos no longer available.

If Auto-Tune the News has taught us anything, it’s that consciously re-framing authentically unintentional funnies can often induce even more lulz than the original meterial.  Maury Povich being one of my all-time favorite TV shows, I couldn’t deprive you of this.  Kung Fu Hillbilly deserves to be shared with the world.

Quoth my boy Ken: There’s high art; there’s low art; and there’s high art made from low art.

You are wise, sir.

This Just in: Football Players are a High-Testosterone Bunch

So the Jets are coming under fire now for alleged sexual harassment of a Mexican newslady who reported that her attempt to interview Mark Sanchez for TV Azteca was foiled by juvenile antics and cat calls.

NFL and team officials yesterday said they were investigating reports the Jets made suggestive comments to knockout TV correspondent Ines Sainz — who calls herself “the hottest sports reporter in Mexico” — during and after a weekend practice at their Florham Park, NJ, facility.

During the portion of practice open to the media, Ryan and defensive backs coach Dennis Thurman purposely overthrew passes so they would land near Sainz, she said. Later, during a locker-room availability, several players allegedly hooted and hollered when Sainz walked in.

She later tweeted she was “dying of embarrassment.”

NY Post

Man, I can’t tell you how tired I am of women trying to act like they don’t know exactly what they’re doing.  They do. I know you don’t really think anyone in Mexico gives a flying cacahuate about the questions you have for MarkSanchez.There is maybe nothing less interesting in sports than hearing players whose names aren’t Shaq or Clinton Portis talk about the game.

We try to take everything one game at a time.  We just go out there and give 110%, focus on executing our assignments, and when we do that, you know, we play up to our potential then no team in this league can touch us.

-Johnny Football

Listen, lady. You can’t go around marketing yourself as the “hottest reporter in Mexico” and then walk into an NFL locker room, the one place where nobody expects men to hold anything back -literally the fucking lion’s den- and try to act all embarrassed when a rabid pack of alpha males takes a break from tripping over their third legs to give you exactly what you’re looking for.  You’re not fooling anybody, señorita.  Not only is this the single most potent concentration of testosterone under one roof, but the owner of the organization is named Woody Johnson for Pete’s sake.  If you make it out in one piece you waive the right to complain at all.  You don’t see me waltzing into the ladies’ room, then whining about all the flowers and ticklefights.  Just comes with the territory.  But howcome there isn’t even any urine all over the floor and walls? SO unprofessional.

More pics at The Superficial

Ridiculous Stop Motion is Ridiculous

How the hell do people have time to do this shit?  I’m an unemployed blogger and I can’t even fathom committing the kind of time it takes to put together a 6 minute stop motion video made entirely out of LEGOs.

Ninja Moped via Kotaku

Guy Blames the Discovery Channel for the Heap of Shit that is 90% of American Television?

Dude. You are going about this AAAAAAALLL wrong.  Yea, TV mostly sucks.  But there are some gems out there.  The least of your worries is the Discovery Channel, trust me.

Apparently his last protest involved throwing money into the air..? Not gonna make much headway doing that, buddy. The FUCKING MONEY kind of steals your thunder there.  That would be like the catholic church trying to make a point about the idolatry of American pop culture by having Spider-Man come out to do back-flips and sign autographs. The suspect James J. Lee has had this to say about Discovery programming:

All programs on Discovery Health-TLC must stop encouraging the birth of any more parasitic human infants and the false heroics behind those actions. In those programs’ places, programs encouraging human sterilization and infertility must be pushed. All former pro-birth programs must now push in the direction of stopping human birth, not encouraging it.

I have to say, this doesn’t sound so crazy.  I see at least a couple people on the street everyday that make me think “he should be sterilized.” We all agree, no one wants another Octo-mom.  But that’s when you complain about social programs that shift money from people who earn enough to pay taxes, to those that take fertility pills and have a dozen kids.  But you can’t just stand outside the building bitching about it and expect to have any better result than you’ll get by pounding sand, or blogging to several dozen readers.  Find a network that shares your sensibilities and come up with a program that people might actually watch.  Write a speech on the realities of teen parenthood and tour some high schools.  Figure out a policy that works and vote the people that advocate it into office (idk).  Gather some data, make a documentary (Discover might even air it if it’s any good!).  And when all that inevitably fails say “fuck it,” crack open a beer, and watch some people faceplanting on YouTube with the rest of us.  If that’s not your style and you just can’t stomach it, then by all means kill yourself.  But don’t walk into a crowded building with explosives when you do it.  Don’t blame Kate Gosselin and certainly don’t blame Discovery.  At least they put food on their tables the old-fashioned way – with a private enterprise built on child labor, not by sucking up tax dollars.

And I think I speak for everyone in New York City when I say, “Don’t fuck with the Cash Cab.”