Where We’re Going, We Don’t Need Laces: Nike Patents BttF II Kicks

You’re officially living in the future, folks.  Apparently, we’ve been one step closer to hoverboards since 2009.  Sometime last year, Nike filed for a patent application for shoes (with lights!) that automatically lace themselves up, like the ones Marty Mc-Super-Fly introduced to the world way back in 2015 1989.   Pic below [Engadget] links to another with more detail.

Not to put a damper on the good news, but in this crazy-mixed-up world of cross promotions, I have to wonder if this design isn’t a signal that a new movie might be looming over us (you know kind of how the Transformers movie is a $300 million commercial for action figures?).  Sadly, if it were, it would be yet another horseshit remake of a classic that really doesn’t need to be redone.  In fact it NEEDS to NOT be redone.  BttF gets a free pass on cheesiness at this point because “Ayyyy, it’s the freakin’ 80s”.  If you try and redo it, you’re just bringing that cheese to a party where everyone is lactose intolerant, and it’ll fit in about as well as Martin Lawrence does in King Arthur’s Court.  And the result is sure to be only slightly better than that catastrophe.

Look out for a barrage of concept car designs attempting to revive gullwing doors and we’ll raise the alert level to yellow, but for now I’m onboard (motherfuckin’ hoverboard!).

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