Joey Boots has Michael Jackson Dropping N-Bombs, Benji Shows up on CNBC

As seen on Barstool Sports NYC

Can someone update me on what’s been going on with Howard’s show lately? Last week we saw Joey Boots pissing off random goobers in Times Square by filming a girl in public.  This week, he’s directing his able index finger directly onto the button of a Michael Jackson impersonator.  It doesn’t take much at all to set him off…maybe he recognized JB and figured he’d get blown up either way so why drag it out.

And then Benji showed up on Fast Money a couple minutes ago.

He muttered something about “not doing the Sanjaya thing,” but I haven’t caught the show since Sirius started charging extra to listen online (WTF).  So what the hell was Benji supposed to be doing? Whatever it was, he failed miserably.  Shouldn’t he know how to do this by now? I’m pretty sure this is not his first rodeo. Gotta just get your “BABA BOOEY!!” in as quick as you can, not try to reason with people like, “No it’s cool, I’m not going to do the Sanjaya thing, don’t worry.”  Unless you’re there to talk about Oracle hiring Mark Hurd, they don’t seem to care, buddy.

Update: Now that I think of it, it could have had something to do with Hurd, since he was ousted from HP in the wake of a sexual harassment scandal.  As he did with Dave Letterman, Howard is apt to take that opportunity to point out that he’s often labeled a sexual deviant by the conventional media, despite never having any extramarital or interoffice controversy come up around him.

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TOTALLY STRAIGHT Guy is Really into Michael Jackson

Go ahead and read this craigslist post by a totally straight dude looking for J-O partner. Then come on back and we’ll talk.

Well, another day, another “profound spiritual act of consensual hetero awesomeness.”  I suppose I’m not really qualified to tell you whether you’re gay or not…but I am picking up something that I can’t quite put my junk on.  Maybe it’s the bedazzler but let’s get to the real meat of the story here –

YOU GAVE THAT JACKET BACK?! WTF man?! You get your hands on something like that, you don’t just give it back! You’re obviously a pretty creative guy, make something up for the love of god. Say you lost it, say you got robbed, you had to pawn it for drugs.  I don’t care if the whole Jackson family is on you to try and get it back.  Tell Joe you accidentally got some of your nutter-butter on it during one of your totally hetero “dagger” fights.  He won’t want it back.