This Sounds Like a Winner

How has this movie not become one of the classics of our generation? And that tagline?!

He came into town with his cock in hand, and what he did with it was illegal in 49 states.

Anything goes in Hawaii! No doubt the marketing geniuses behind this are the same guys that managed to sell 2 million Shake Weights (I shit you not).


WTF: Guy Arrested for Watching People Do Shit in Public

So the gub’ment can plant a GPS tracking device on your car when it’s parked in your driveway, but apparently it’s illegal to watch people in public doing what they’re doing in public.

A 58-year-old man was arrested Saturday after police said he used binoculars to watch two teenage girls at a car wash fundraiser in Pelham. Police said they found Richard Mello seated in his vehicle in an empty parking lot near the Congregational Church on Main Street with a direct line of sight to two young girls who were working at a car wash fundraising event. Mello told officers that he had been watching the girls — later determined to be 13 and 15 years old — through his binoculars while sitting in his car, according to police news release. Mello was arrested for loitering and causing public alarm with his suspicious behavior, according to the news release.

WMUR New Hampshire via NYC Barstool

I would love to hear that the police found this guy doing something weird in his car like rubbing ice cream on his feet while listening to Hannah Montana records or something.  That would sure make this case a lot easier.  Without a detail like that, though, all I can do is become the least popular guy in New York when I say that what’s going to happen to this guy in the coming months is completely unfair.  And before you flip your lid on me, let me clarify that I’m not defending sexual deviants.  I’m just saying I’m not ready to call this guy one, even though I’m 95% sure that’s what will happen. Yea, it’s a little creepy, but he really hasn’t broken any law or violated anybody’s privacy.

Remember that just the other day an appeals(!) court decided that it was OK for an arm of the federal government to plant a GPS on YOUR car while it’s parked in YOUR driveway and use it to track everywhere you go, because there is no “expectation of privacy.”  Now, the NHPD is saying that it’s illegal for you to look at people in public.  Well what expectation of privacy is there when you’re washing cars at the local Shell station, freaking having bubble-fights and spraying each other with your hoses and whatnot? Puh-lease. These girls may be 15 but they know exactly what they’re doing, so before you take this sucker’s job and family away from him, consider this: there’s a reason the cheerleaders are washing cars to raise money and the football team is in the parking lot selling freaking M&Ms.