Warren Sapp and Michael Irvin Remind You Who’s STILL the Best LB in the League

Can you blame them?  Mike also shows us a face formerly known only to Dallas nightclub bathroom attendants circa 1995.

To the delight of ‘Canes alumni everywhere, Ray Lewis came through with the game-clinching pick in yesterday’s 17-14 win over the Steelers.  Maybe someone should tell him he’s 35.  Naaah.

Thanks to Tiz – whose blood is orange on one side and green on the other side – for the tip.

My Last Word on Ines

So I was getting some flack yesterday in the Twitterverse by people who have no sense of hyperbole or humor.  Check out the post, write some shit in the comments.  Go nuts, start a flame war.

http://www.awfulannouncing.com/2010-articles/september/la-ultima-palabra-mia-sobre-ines-sainz.html

This Just in: Football Players are a High-Testosterone Bunch

So the Jets are coming under fire now for alleged sexual harassment of a Mexican newslady who reported that her attempt to interview Mark Sanchez for TV Azteca was foiled by juvenile antics and cat calls.

NFL and team officials yesterday said they were investigating reports the Jets made suggestive comments to knockout TV correspondent Ines Sainz — who calls herself “the hottest sports reporter in Mexico” — during and after a weekend practice at their Florham Park, NJ, facility.

During the portion of practice open to the media, Ryan and defensive backs coach Dennis Thurman purposely overthrew passes so they would land near Sainz, she said. Later, during a locker-room availability, several players allegedly hooted and hollered when Sainz walked in.

She later tweeted she was “dying of embarrassment.”

NY Post

Man, I can’t tell you how tired I am of women trying to act like they don’t know exactly what they’re doing.  They do. I know you don’t really think anyone in Mexico gives a flying cacahuate about the questions you have for MarkSanchez.There is maybe nothing less interesting in sports than hearing players whose names aren’t Shaq or Clinton Portis talk about the game.

We try to take everything one game at a time.  We just go out there and give 110%, focus on executing our assignments, and when we do that, you know, we play up to our potential then no team in this league can touch us.

-Johnny Football

Listen, lady. You can’t go around marketing yourself as the “hottest reporter in Mexico” and then walk into an NFL locker room, the one place where nobody expects men to hold anything back -literally the fucking lion’s den- and try to act all embarrassed when a rabid pack of alpha males takes a break from tripping over their third legs to give you exactly what you’re looking for.  You’re not fooling anybody, señorita.  Not only is this the single most potent concentration of testosterone under one roof, but the owner of the organization is named Woody Johnson for Pete’s sake.  If you make it out in one piece you waive the right to complain at all.  You don’t see me waltzing into the ladies’ room, then whining about all the flowers and ticklefights.  Just comes with the territory.  But howcome there isn’t even any urine all over the floor and walls? SO unprofessional.

More pics at The Superficial

Lebron Says Ohio State Will Beat UM. Yawn.

So last week, Lebron tweeted that he thinks Ohio State will beat the Hurricanes when they come to town…and that he may even go.

@KingJames: I thinking bout going down to the Horseshoe next Sat for that battle. O-State will prevail for sure. Will be exciting! Good luck tonight Bucks

If you’re a Miami fan and you’re getting your panties in a twist, Tommy’s going to come back there and hit you in the head with a tack hammer, because you are a retard.  Obvious PR is obvious.  The Buckeyes are coming into the season ranked #2, so it’s not like he’s saying anything outlandish here.  Just trying to convince some people back in Akron that playing ball in Miami is about what’s best for his career, not changing his stripes.

Do yourself a favor and wait until he actually shows up to the stadium to care about this story.

We Got Some Canes Over Here!!!1

See what I did there? I’m just kidding though, those hurricanes are actually a lot closer to the coast now!

But seriously, the Miami Hurricanes are set to kick off their season this evening against FAMU and I am sad to report I will not be able to attend.  The FAMU game is always a great time.  A warmup game with the best band around playing all your Trick Daddy favorites.  Those of you that are lucky enough to go would be wise to hit up East 23 for the ultimate Hurricanes tailgate, now sponsored by Red Stripe.  Hooray, keg stands!

We Might See Sam Bradford’s Arm Fall Off This Season!

I’m not sure whether this makes fans in St. Louis happy or not but Coach Spagnuolo says we could see what Sam Bradford in action earlier than expected.  JUST KIDDING, there are no Rams fans!

A.J. Feeley injured his thumb and elbow in the first quarter when he hit a defensive player’s helmet on the followthrough of a throw in a 19-17 victory at Cleveland on Saturday night, and was scheduled to undergo an MRI exam. The Rams have a short week, playing again Thursday night at New England.

“Obviously, this goes without saying, if Feeley can’t work during the week, Sam would be the guy,” coach Steve Spagnuolo said Sunday.

CBS Sports

I for one love to see these guys thrown into the fire.  Not because it makes for the best on-the-field product, but because it’s dramatic.  You can start out pretty shitty, then get the chance to come back 4 years later when your Super Bowl MVP starter finally retires, which Matt Leinart will do this season.  Or you can be groomed for 3 years before you take a single snap, a la Aaron Rodgers who has every analyst fawning over him like he’s…well Brett Favre.  Loved seeing Chad Henne step up to take the helm in Miami last year after a decade-long parade of mediocre-at-best wannabe field generals.

Bottom line: there’s nothing more interesting in NFL football than finding out if college greats have what it takes to make it in the pros.  Fans just love finding out.  We don’t care that the odds are largely against them if they’re sent into the fray too early for their fragile egos…or their fragile bodies.  Giving this kid the biggest contract in NFL history makes us fans extremely antsy to see him put down the clipboard and put on a helmet.  Maybe that’s just the unemployed blogger in me talking but paying a guy $50 million in guaranteed money to sit on a bench is like buying a Ferrari and then rubbing it with a diaper all day instead of picking up sluts with it.  You’re in the casino, you’ve got a shit-ton of chips, and now the crowd wants to see you roll those dice.  Maaaaybe you shouldn’t have guaranteed that much money to a guy who’s already running on a surgically repaired throwing shoulder, maybe it’ll work out.  Not that coaches should make a habit of “rolling dice,” that’s obviously bad business:  I just love watching what happens when they have no other choice.

Football Outsiders Writer Answers Questions on Freakonomics

It’s no secret here on WG that we’re fans of both the NFL and longwinded blogging.  So this is a real treat for me, and hopefully for you.  Football Outsiders is a team of NFL analysts that act more like baseball die-hards, digging OH SO DEEP into the numbers behind the gridiron.  So recently, FO’s Bill Barnwell took some questions from the readers at the Freakonomics blog, and the answers are sure to please mental masturbation enthusiasts the world over.  Although the NFL’s overtime rules were modified this year to exempt first-possession field goals from ending the game, it’s still an obligatory topic, and FO offers a suggestion that you likely haven’t heard before.

In my improved overtime format, the team captains would meet at midfield for a coin toss, just as they did on Sunday when the Ravens played the Seahawks.  But the captain of the Seahawks wouldn’t decide to kick or receive when he won the toss.  Instead, he would have to name a yard line where the overtime kickoff would be placed.  Then the Ravens’ captain would say whether he wanted to kick or receive.  So Mike Holmgren might instruct his captain to have the kickoff spotted at the 43-yard line.  Brian Billick would tell his captain, “If they put it anywhere inside the 40, we’ll receive.  Otherwise, we’ll kick.”  Losing the toss really wouldn’t be any disadvantage, because both teams can determine what they think is a fair spot for the opening kickoff.

Splitting the Overtime Pizza by Michael David Smith

So Smith takes a game-theory approach and lets competitive decision-making trump a 50/50 coinflip.  Smart.  I like.  Other topics include, drastic team turnarounds, unconventional play-calling, and the randomness of field goal kicking, so head on over to Freakonomics to check out the Q&A.