Crazy Little Thing Called Sexy Time

Ever wonder what would happen if Borat and Bruno were melded into one character? And that character was also inexplicably gifted with the voice of an angel? Well, you might find out next year: Deadline is reporting that Borat is a go to play ફ્રારુક બુલ્સારા‌ in a movie about his life and band.  You don’t recognize that name? Oh sorry, in Arabic letters it’s “Farrokh Bulsara.”  Still no?  Well any wannabe rock historian should know that Farrokh is the world’s favorite Zorastrian, Freddie motherfucking Mercury.

Sacha Baron Cohen has closed a deal to play Queen front man Freddie Mercury in a film that’s being scripted by Peter Morgan for a 2011 production start. The untitled film will be financed by GK Films partners Graham King and Tim Headington, who’ll produce in partnership with Robert De Niro and Jane Rosenthal’s Tribeca Productions, and Queen Films. Morgan is already working on a script focused on the band’s formative years, leading up to Queen’s appearance at Live Aid in 1985. Queen’s performance is considered one of the rock’s all-time great live concert appearances.

Deadline

Man, those British sure know a thing or two about rocking.  Say what you will about the advancements in modern American dentistry, but put together a Rock and Roll Dream Team and you’d be hard pressed to find any Yankees breaking the starting lineup.  And in a straight-up gay-off the disparity is even worse.  The UK’s got Freddie, Rob Halford of Judas Priest, Sir Elton John, and half of Ziggy Stardust.  Can the States even assemble a practice squad? Naaaaah.

Anyway, on the subject of SBC, I’m thinking he can pull this off, but it won’t be very fun for him.  Being a comedic guy, I’d bet he can strike a vague balance in the mannerisms between over-the-top goofiness and Rock n Roll swagger – probably by shooting every scene a few thousand times.

Thanks to Goo for the heads-up.

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TOTALLY STRAIGHT Guy is Really into Michael Jackson

Go ahead and read this craigslist post by a totally straight dude looking for J-O partner. Then come on back and we’ll talk.

Well, another day, another “profound spiritual act of consensual hetero awesomeness.”  I suppose I’m not really qualified to tell you whether you’re gay or not…but I am picking up something that I can’t quite put my junk on.  Maybe it’s the bedazzler but let’s get to the real meat of the story here –

YOU GAVE THAT JACKET BACK?! WTF man?! You get your hands on something like that, you don’t just give it back! You’re obviously a pretty creative guy, make something up for the love of god. Say you lost it, say you got robbed, you had to pawn it for drugs.  I don’t care if the whole Jackson family is on you to try and get it back.  Tell Joe you accidentally got some of your nutter-butter on it during one of your totally hetero “dagger” fights.  He won’t want it back.

Forbes: Lil Wayne Will Earn $20M While Behind Bars

Forbes estimates that Lil Wayne won’t just be making it rain cigarettes when he gets out of New York’s Rikers Island prison system.

During his first five months at Rikers Island other artists have released at least 23 tracks featuring guest appearances by Dwayne “Lil Wayne” Carter, including a remix of Drake‘s Jay-Z collaboration “Light Up,” for which Wayne contributed verses by phone from jail. By our estimates, he actually earned more money this year ($20 million) than last ($18 million), in part thanks to a plan dreamed up by Wayne’s camp in the months before his incarceration.

23 tracks?!  Under normal circumstances that would be ridiculous – most albums are around 10-12 – but Lil Wayne is known to be a creative freak.  He’s got rhymes pouring out his ass, and the really unbelievable thing is that the quantity doesn’t undermine the quality.  Normally I’d be the first one to criticize a musician for club-style hip-hop without any real subject matter, but Wayne’s verses on those tracks are always the standouts.  He’s pretty much the only rapper that I pay attention to.  Always got a line that will make you laugh, a wordly-wise word that will impress you, and a sneaky reference to something outside of the realm of standard hip-hop fare (“all my kicks fly like Liu Kang” comes to mind).  And his talent goes well beyond that stuff too.  Anyway, the guy keeps a constant stream of music coming at the fans, usually free, and he doesn’t intend to stop just because of the man! So you can’t complain about that.  Plus he’s trying branch outside of the box of homogenous hip-hop personas.  He’s not doing such an awesome job of it, it’s still cool.

The article goes into further detail about the marketing plan to keep him in the public eye throughout the year in prison, which includes a continuous drip of music and videos, along with the website http://weezythanxyou.com, where you can pick up your “FREE Weezy” shirts.  As long as he keeps producing, there’s no way the jail stint could hurt him.  If anything, he’s just racking up the street cred that prevents me from breaking into the game and taking his lunch money.  Doubt I’ll be able to beat sales of Tha Carter IV when he gets out in November.

Forbes via Freakonomics