Artie Lange Alive and Kicking, Probably Abusing

The world’s most tragically successful fat bastard is reportedly close to speaking about his most recent meltdown and subsequent suicide attempt, according to the fanblog Save Baby Gorilla

Gary said that he has spoken to Artie, who wants to come in to the show to tell the whole story.  Audio below:

Haven’t heard the show in a while, but I’m definitely a longtime fan and want to see Artie get better.  The guy has a ton of baggage when it comes to depression and drug/alcohol abuse; a combination of watching his dad die slowly from a freak accident at a young age and then a life on stage touring NYC’s open mikes – all of which are available for your reading pleasure in Artie’s book Too Fat to Fish.

Now in his 40s, this isn’t the first time Art’s been too messed up to show up to work everyday, even though he’s being paid $700,000 a year to do so.  Seems like he is really desperate to go out like the other tragic fatboys before him, but it’s just not in the cards.  Even when he takes matters into his own hands and stabs himself in the fucking stomach a few times.

Get well, fatass.  Show needs you.

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