Gainesville is Full of Retards, Makes U.S. Look Like Assholes

The only thing that could make this story at all palatable is if it were somehow Tim Tebow’s fault.  Unfortunately though, it seems the blame falls squarely on the mustache of Pastor Terry Jones (above).  Pastor Jones seems to think that by burning a bunch of Qur’ans on September 11th, he’ll ward off the evil spirit of Muhammad Bin Laden or something like that.  I’m not really sure because part of my brain exploded when I read that he disregarded General Patraeus’s comment that doing so will impede the U.S. forces’ effort in Afghanistan.

“It could endanger troops and it could endanger the overall effort,” Gen. Petraeus said in an interview. “It is precisely the kind of action the Taliban uses and could cause significant problems. Not just here, but everywhere in the world we are engaged with the Islamic community.”

Mr. Jones, head of the 50-member Dove World Outreach Center in Gainesville, Fla., said in a statement that “We understand the General’s concerns. We are sure that his concerns are legitimate.” Nonetheless, he added, “We must send a clear message to the radical element of Islam. We will no longer be controlled and dominated by their fears and threats.”


Dude. You’re doing it wrong.  I gotta be honest, it really seems like you’re the one instigating here.  1.  You should understand that what makes America great is freedoms, like freedom of religion, which gives Muslims the right to do their thing peacefully, and you to do yours.  2. You should realize that even though this means you have the right to do your demonstration, you’re being kind of a dick.  And 3. when General P. tells you that you’re stepping on his toes, you better just drop the Qur’ans and go back to peeling potatoes, maggot.  Leave the war to the army.

Look I know I’m bordering on my own anti-pussification rules with this next statement but we’re talking about people blowing each other up so I’m gonna go ahead and draw the line somewhere: being inflammatory for no reason is BAD FOR EVERYBODY.  Even comedy is a reason so just tell me you’re joking and we can have a beer.  Otherwise, I have to come clean: basically, I hate your religion just as much as I hate Islam, or any of the other ones that say you should aggressively proselytize, protest, burn records, kill a few million people in the name of Jesus/Allah/Flying Spaghetti Monster and generally impose your bullshit on other people who are just trying to go about their damn business.  Let me put it in terms you can understand: Shit may seem rosy in Gainesville because you literally don’t have any Muslims and you’re about to become the most famous pastor in town, but in the American cities that are actually important in the world, we have brown people.  And it would be better if they didn’t think we were all a bunch of dickbutts.  I’m not trying to get blown up because two groups of schmucks thinks the other’s got the wrong god.


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