Mel Gibson: You can Have the House, but You’ll Never Take My BLOOOOOWJOOOOBS!!

Mad Mel’s sound-bytes just keep getting better and better. And SO much more Christ-like! There’s a new one that was released yesterday, where Gibson goes from shooting racism lasers out of his eyes to misogyny fireballs from his arse.  Literally fireballs. Dude threatened to burn his own house down because his ex-wife fell asleep instead of waiting up to slob him off and go for a dip in their hot tub.

“I DESERVE to be blown … BEFORE THE FUCKING JACUZZI!!!”

Don’t we all, Mel? Don’t we all.  But, c’est la vie (translation: dem’s bitches).  That’s the way it goes.  The important thing is that you tried.  I’m serious, dude is getting on in years and clearly still cares a whole hell of a lot about keeping little Mel happy and healthy. And I really have to agree here about the importance of catching that beej BEFORE the jacuzzi.  You ever tried getting your rocks off in that water when it’s bubblin at 102 F? Shit becomes incredibly difficult with all that blood flowing everywhere that’s not your penis.  It’s a straight-up, no fail recipe for blue balls, and he is just not having it.

HAVING SAID THAT,

Throwing a horrific fit that makes you the new leper of Hollywood and threatening to burn down your own house while complaining that you’ve been bankrupted by your ex-wife may be a LITTLE too strong of a reaction.  I understand the importance of the shiner you were expecting, but if the girl’s asleep, you gotta just calm down, take a deep breath, count to ten, and rub one out on her face.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

The Superficial via RadarOnline

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