We all know George Steinbrenner died Tuesday morning at age 80, and that many considered him the greatest owner in sports. Known for his vehement obsession with winning at all costs, and subsequent penchant for buying up established players, The Boss is believed by many to have already put together a dynamite squad from some of baseball’s best/worst in the great dugout of the netherworld.
P – Bugs Raymond, Steve Howe (word has it that he’s got his eye on Roger Clemens when he becomes available)
C – Marty Bergen
1b – Chick Gandil
2b – Billy Martin
3b – Ken Caminiti
SS – Mike “King” Kelly
OF – Ty Cobb, Kirby Puckett, Joe “Ducky” Medwick
Well there you have it. My baseball knowledge is pretty weak (but I WILL SMOKE YOU at Strat-O-Matic if you want a piece), so I only recognize a handful of these names. A lot of these guys are pretty old school, because let’s face it, everyone was an asshole back in the day. I mean you weren’t going to get fired and sued just for getting drunk and womanizing gameday in and gameday out. It was just generally accepted that “boys will be boys” and “alcoholics will be alcoholics.” Baseball was America’s game, and America was a different place. Just think about that the next time your grandpa calls you a faggot. And give him a hug for me.
Sidenote about George’s death: it comes at as good a moment as there will ever be for a high-profile passing, when 1. the NYY are on top of baseball, and 2. everyone has found a new Evil Empire to whine about: the Miami Heat. So when the Yanks win this year, it will be “for The Boss” and all that, and haters won’t have enough energy to complain.