After 44 years, Mike Tyson has taken a minute to reflect on his life and has reached a stunning conclusion:
“I’m a pig. I have this uncanny ability to look at myself in the mirror and say, ‘This is a pig. You are a fucking piece of shit.'”
He tells Details magazine, “The first stage of my life was just a whole bunch of selfishness. Just a whole bunch of gifts to myself and people who didn’t necessarily deserve it. Now I’m 44, and I realise that my whole life is just a fucking waste. ‘Greatest man on the planet’? I wasn’t half the man I thought I was.”
Kinda makes you think, huh? How a man who was such a powerful icon of sports can still be humble enough to …what? Oh yea he raped a chick. And bit a dude’s ear off. Yup, you’re a fucking pig!
But to be fair, it’s a little extreme to call the first 44 years of your life a “complete fucking waste.” Dude actually accomplished some pretty remarkable things in his day. Yes, it’s nice to hear clean cut athletes who never had a psychotic meltdown on PPV (OR OPRAH) look back and tell us, “the real heroes are the fans,” but COME ON you were the Champion of the Motherfucking World at age 20. That’s enough to make Ali rattle in his rocking chair (if he wasn’t already rattling on his own). The only reason it means nothing now is because he went so batshit crazy afterward, but as someone born in the 80s, Mike Tyson was my introduction to boxing (and video games). And boy, was it awesome. He really had potential to be incredible before going Hannibal on us. Which…I suppose leads us to the definition of the word “waste.” Call the rape support line, Mike Tyson just mindfucked me.
Here’s the best video I could find of Iron Mike playing with his ragdolls: