The Heat is Officially on.

Who needs money, anyway? Not NBA players apparently.  In yet another high-profile case of players leaving money on the table to *gasp* pursue ACTUAL CAREER GOALS, Udonis Haslem, known mostly for being the blue-collared second-banana down low during the Shaq years, has announced that he will stay with the Miami Heat.  I wonder what he sees in that team anyway?

Haslem said Monday he turned down more lucrative offers to sign a five-year contract with the Heat. He likely will earn close to $4 million annually.

“It was an opportunity to win, an opportunity to be close to my mother, with her illness, and an opportunity to be a part of something special,” he said. “I’ve never been in this for the money. I would be changing my DNA if I changed just for money.”

I see. So he 1. likes the look of the ring on his finger and 2. noticed he has 9 other fingers that are pathetically naked.

Basically everyone talking shit about the Heat not being able to sign other players have neglected one major point. Namely: WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULDN’T WANT TO BE ON THIS TEAM?  Well Derek Fisher for one. But he’s already got a nice thing going in LA so clearly in his case, it’s not worth getting hit in the face with batteries upon return to the Staples Center.

Haslem is expected to come off the bench in relief of Chris Bosh at the 4, although at times they will probably share the court, with one of them playing center. So what will all the haters say when we sign Jason Williams to run the point? Well, I’m sure they’ll think of something.  But until they do: let it be known that THE HEAT IS ON motherfuckers!


3 Responses

  1. I can’t wait till all of these monkeys go bankrupt 5 years after retirement and are all pawning their rings to make up for the money they left on the table.

  2. • By the time they have been retired for two years, 78% of former NFL players have gone bankrupt or are under financial stress because of joblessness or divorce.

    • Within five years of retirement, an estimated 60% of former NBA players are broke.

  3. Dude if you read the article, you’d realize it has nothing to do with their how big their salaries are and everything to do with not knowing wtf to do with it – budgeting, investing, and trusting the wrong people.

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