HEARETH MY DECREE:
i move to abolish single stuffed oreos. well maybe not abolish them. but the default oreo should undoubtedly be double stuffed. i think that we should only have to choose from either double stuffed or quadruple stuffed in the cookie aisle. anyone who prefers single to double is obvioulsy half as awesome.

-Jonesy

Advertisements

well here you have it folks…for almost a year now, unbeknownst to all of us, the cookie monster has been undergoing a health transformation. even the song “c is for cookie,” has been CLIAAAPPED and replaced by the new “cookie is a sometime food.” utter bullshit. im glad that rachel brought this blasphemy to my attention so that i could…well, whine about it i guess. GODDAMN!

read an article about it here:
c is for cockass

-coach

representing the ol Tufts University. WHAT NOW

-C&B

good news maybe now people can sue a fast food franchise for giving them something they didn’t ask for.

haeoaornds

-coachandbroach

what do you get when you cover a pile of cottage cheese with a floral bedsheet?

-Jones

sorry

public finance homework: farmer jones produces honey using bees. his marginal cost curve is (whatever). farmer smith produces apples from his orchard. his marginal cost curve is (whatever).

j: hey, thats you (leon) and jared (smith).

coach: do farmers call each other by that title? like doctors?

jones: like do you send an invitation to farmer and mrs. jones?

coach: “well, mister jones..”
“excuse me, i didn’t spend the last 45 years NOT going to school to be called ‘mister’ thank you very much.”

-coach and broach

away message from JPOGMD4788:

My favorite day of the yr..the post Valentines Day fallout. Its a hilarious day and ill tell u why. There is such a dichotomy in the female community today. On 1 side u have the girls who had dates or boyfriends, and these girls actually think now bc their guys were all nice and lovey to them and romantic for 1 night that their boyfriends actually like them haha.On the other side u have the girls who were too pathetic to even be able to milk a guy into taking them out and catering to them and they are all bitter today. Its interesting to see the differences in these 2 groups of hos and u can tell right away bc some girls r all giddy today and others are soo depressed. My question for u all out there tho is this: Which group of girls is more pathetic and stupid? The girls who are being tricked by their dates/bfs or the ones who couldnt even get tricked?? Its an interesting discussion and the moral is all girls are sooo dumb. I love having a penis.


(The feelings and messages expressed in this presentation are in no way sponsored by or affiliated with The Coach & Broach network. All correspondence pertaining to the prior issue should be filed elsewhere. Nevertheless, C&B co. will take full responsibility for the distribution of this hilarity)

cheers to having a penis!

-C&B