ive been sick so i decided to go to cvs to try and get some recovery items. being the poor poor bro that i am, i opted for the generic brand nyquil. sour choice by this guy. it tasted like black licorice that was pickled in cheap vodka. that receives a GAHK rating of 9.3 next time ill drop the extra 90 cents.

-jonesbro

you know those games where they show you a picture and you have to pick the one that doesnt fit? here’s an example

we never said we were politically correct…make sure you check out the caption

-coachandbroach

so i may or may not have been watching laguna beach when i realized that everything i do and every situation im in would be 10x cooler if there was a sweet song in the background. in the same sense, i think that if you played any of the laguna beach scenes without the music it just wouldnt be LAGUNA!!!!! (dont hate)

-jones

since you asked, ill be happy to tell you a part of society that annoys me, though im sure some of you pussies may disagree. i find it particularly annoying and unnecessary when people say “god bless you” after a sneeze. who the fuck are you to tell god to bless me and more importantly i dont think i need “god’s blessing” after just a pussy sneeze. maybe the next time i get punched in the face you can say it. im much less annoyed by the spanish retort of “salud” (to health). but i think that most people today only use it out of the attempt to avoid akwardness. i wont lie, if its just me and one person in a room, im most likely gonna say it. does that make me a hipocrit? maybe. but we as a society have built so much expectation upon that useless retort that there’s an exteme akwardness if its not stated. even worse, today i sneezed and some dude next to me drops the full “god bless you.” i roll my eyes and give a half hearted thanks. one might think that this would end the interaction but NO. he continued this all ready drawn conversation with a “your welcome.” i dont think i need to say much more, so lets make an attempt to stop this stupidness and either say “salud” or just shut the fuck up.

-jones

when one is asked “what is the worst day of the week?” it is easy to automatically say “monday.” but this is wrong and i will tell you why. the right answer is sunday. 1)Clearly you procrastinated and did no work all weekend leaving everything for sunday…disaster
2) you dont wake up till 3 and are still so hungover that (1) becomes near impossible.
3) my team sucks in fantasy, so football is nothing short of frustratingoed.
4) this should definitely be number one: SUNDAY NIGHT DEPRESSION
for those who arent familiar with SND, ill give you a brief explanation:
after (atleast) three nights of binge drinking, your body finally gives way and shuts down due to an overwhelming intake of depressants from the weekend. you start thinking about all the things wrong with your life; from school, to relationships, to your future. you consider doing something more meaningful- like volunteer, or maybe even joining the peace corps. you think about how ronery you are- and how all you want is to snuggle with someone…someone who isnt there. WARNING: no big decisions should be made on sundays. because of the magnitude of strength that comes with SND, no one, and im mean NO ONE should make life altering decisions i.e: transfering schools, getting back together with ex’s, and suicide. but SND is different for everyone and i will now provide several testtimonies about what SND is for them.

FREEFREE: real depressed right now. i have a midterm tomorrow ive done nothing for. i dont have a book for it. all i can think about is whether or not im going to get out of it, and how disgusting the girl in my bed was last night. i have nothing, and my life has absolutely no meaning. at this point im a waste of space and a dissapointment. can feel tears in my eyes.
thats what sunday depression means to me”

L Suarez: “losing on a last second td pass”

Cohnbro: “feeling really down lately…fri and sat night u go out to try to have fun and maybe meet a lady…nosing seems to go right…nosing going on sunday night…everybody just doing their own thing…in their own room…just a rittre ronery…”

my big bro: just want to be in a dark room by myself, no point in talking to anyone because whats the point, another week coming up of the same stupid things, alcohol is ruining my life but i cant live without it

so there you have it folks

-jones and co.
thanks to all that offered their testimonials

hey, guys who live on the second floor of our house (mike, max, jim) could someone explain to me why NOT putting the tp on the roller is somehow easier? i think i speak for everyone when i say, install the new roll immediately. and dont argue, cuz u know u need 1 free hand for that crossword puzzle.

-coach