we were all pleasantly surprised when we returned to school to find that the toilet paper had been significantly upgraded. in addition, purell dispensers were installed in every bathroom, which is terribly convenient. the downside, however, as ken pointed out, is that i now spend 75% of the day walking around with food and/or fecal matter on my hands, which doesn’t bother me so much as other people, who arent aware that im 99.9% disinfected. so if i shake someone’s hand, and they are disgusted to find that i’ve caused it to change color, i have to be sure to relive them. “oh don’t worry, i purelled. you can be 99.9% unconcerned about that.”

-coach

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