compliments of a badoo. a;sldkjfl;askd

-jones

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you’ve heard of the holocaust- THIS is the opposite of that…amazing and a half…..36 today, 26 yesterday, 1 the day before- let me know if anyone gets that

-C & B

for all those freudians who can decipher dreams- what the fuck does this mean: last night i had a dream that i got a tatto that said “i love strawberries”

riddle me that shit

-jones

“big ups” to blaker who is making something of himself while the rest of us are competing to see who falls down in the snow more often than the other.

-coach

we were all pleasantly surprised when we returned to school to find that the toilet paper had been significantly upgraded. in addition, purell dispensers were installed in every bathroom, which is terribly convenient. the downside, however, as ken pointed out, is that i now spend 75% of the day walking around with food and/or fecal matter on my hands, which doesn’t bother me so much as other people, who arent aware that im 99.9% disinfected. so if i shake someone’s hand, and they are disgusted to find that i’ve caused it to change color, i have to be sure to relive them. “oh don’t worry, i purelled. you can be 99.9% unconcerned about that.”

-coach

they shoot, she scores

-du goldberg

so we’re sitting around the table at dinner and the conversation was as follows:

mike (to our friend max): so is your name really Maxamillion?

max: no its Maxwell, actually…i thought it was just max until my Bar mitzvah invitaion said maxwell.

if you knew max, youd understand.

-jonesy