oh really fool? really?! side kick!
-coach and broach
well today i might say that i had my best college experience thus far. sadly, it was with five 14 year old kids. i hear this group of boys outside my window; they were riding around on theyre bikes screaming in there akward in between voices. if anyone has seen our dorm, its surrounded by somewhat of a moat, about 10-15 ft deep. so of course i had to take advantage of these 14 year olds and this 12 foot drop. i told one of the kids i would pay him 20 bucks if he jumped off the ledge on his bike. so this fourteen year old, pressured by an elder asshole (yours truly), made the jump. amazing to say the least. of course his front wheel went straight into the ground, throwing him over the handle bars and his head STRAIGHT into the ground. while his friends were yelling “call an ambulance,” me and mike were laughing our asses off. the kid was fine, just with a huge welt on his head and dirt all over his body. once he got up and felt his head, he asked “what am i gonna tell my mom?” (in classic 14 year old fashion). so that was that. after i told the fat one of the group that i would give him 3 oreos if he pissed on his friends bike. he obliged. so did one of the others. pissed all over the bike. a great day to say the least.
note: the following is a story that dom read, not actually experienced.
d0mmm (1:17:09 AM): Ok so yesterday was my cheat day. Probably put away about 8k cals including a lot of alcohol last night. Im at the usual weekend frat parties and i’ve been talking to this girl for the majority of the night. She’s 19, so still a little on the immature side, but im only 21 so its all good. Anyway i’ve talked to this girl a few times before, and to make a long story short I ended up going back with her to her dorm. About another 8shots later, we end up fooling around on her bed, didnt bang her, but did pretty much everything else.
d0mmm (1:17:19 AM): So about 10min’s into her giving me head, I had to drop the fattest shit in my life. All my meals were followed by 3tsp of metamucil so I could get lots of fiber in me to combat the carbs a litte. Anyway im holdin my #2 in and finally it goes away. We both end up passing out on her bed, she’s butt naked and im in my boxers. I must have passed out about 10min after she did around 3am. I wake up at about 8am to piss and I find myself covered in shit.
d0mmm (1:17:25 AM): Im thinking WTF, and what happened was I shit myself when I was sleeping. It was all over the bed, sheets,etc…. Im freakin out so I did the most horrible thing in the world. She’s sleeping with her back towards me, so I take my boxers off, scoop up some shit and gently smear it on the inside of her butt, her lower back, and a little on the back of ther hammies. I get dressed and leave LOL This poor girl is gonna think she did it. I didnt know what else to do though. Anyway, im really gonna have to avoid her and I have no clue what im gonna do when I end up running into her.