How NOT to Give Your Kids Their Self-Esteem Back

Two douchebag parents are suing their sons’ junior hockey team, league, and coaches for cutting the kids. Not only do I despise the scumbags that give America a bad name with their frivolous lawsuits, but I have a deep hatred that burns like the fire of a thousand suns for the ones that actually live up to that bad name by pussifying their kids beyond belief.  I honestly cannot think of a WORSE way to teach your kid to deal with the stress of failure. Remember when you got a bad grade and your mom wanted to call up the teacher to bitch her out (thank god your dad never let her do it)? Imagine that x1000 on public record.

“Their direct actions have caused irreparable psychological damage to Daniel Longo’s self esteem as an impressionable teenager and demoralized Daniel as an athlete and team hockey player with his peers,” the Longo statement of claim reads. “The conduct by all defendants destroyed the dignity of my son, whom in good conscience gave his team nothing but his best efforts.”

WAAAAA. Congratulations, mom and dad, YOU just ended your sons’ career. They might have had a shot with another team, but not after you 1. cut their balls off and 2. let every coach in the world know that they’re a couple of worthless pansies. Tnly thing you can hope for now is that they learn to be tough after getting their asses kicked at school everyday until graduation and/or the inevitable massacre they will rain down upon the student body. Hit the jump for some pics of what hockey players are supposed to look like – some of the toughest SOBs in all sports (healthy, well-adjusted, hyper-violent cavemen).


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